I assume it is a short AS, ten syllables instead of 17. Regardless of that, it works stunningly well with the sun pouring concrete -- novel image but so believable! I assume the typo for bugs is deliberate to illustrate well, bugs to fix... which may also be true of the ten syllables. It makes me smile, your AS. To attempt my crit lite: hmmm, I wouldn't change a thing. I am useless. :-)
That's a very generous American sentence! Sounds like you are all dying of heat in the antipodes, which is as good an excuse as any.
ReplyDeleteLove the phrase 'ride like you stole it' -- is that part of the sentence? Sounds like the title of a great punk/rock song.
ReplyDeleteDave,
ReplyDeleteI assume it is a short AS, ten syllables instead of 17.
Regardless of that, it works stunningly well with the sun pouring concrete -- novel image but so believable! I assume the typo for bugs is deliberate to illustrate well, bugs to fix... which may also be true of the ten syllables. It makes me smile, your AS.
To attempt my crit lite: hmmm, I wouldn't change a thing. I am useless.
:-)
Sorella